Inanimate Objects Gentlemanified

I do enjoy a bit of anthropomorphism in the morning.

I've posted my moustachioed plant pots before, but as I am housebound this week following a surprise overnight stay in hospital at the weekend, I'm not able to get to my usual charity shops & boot sales to find treasures.

I like my blog to showcase things I've either seen in real life, or preferably own in my home; so forgive me if this week the posts are of screenshots of horrors taken from eBay!
I'm sure I can find you some entertaining disgustingness on there until I'm back out and about scouting for tack.